pansysky:

spookytox:

reaill:

grimfemme:

I just wanted to eat breakfast ;(

welp now we know the distinction between the two

Have….have people…not eaten shredded wheat before? The regular sized ones?

You put it in a bowl and pour milk on it (with sugar + cinnamon if you’re not some lunatic fiber satan who just wants to eat wheat strings) and let it soak a bit before breaking it up and eating bite sized portions with your spoon.

DO PEOPLE NOT KNOW THIS?!

NONE OF US KNEW THAT

doubleohmogar:

franerys:

katiebpeters:

chloereneeeee:

How many altos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they can’t get that high.

How many sopranos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, she holds it up and waits for the world to revolve around her.

How many singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. An alto to actually do it and a soprano to stand by and ask “isn’t that a little high for you?”

u wanna fucking go

streeter:

I’m glad the portrait of Ben Franklin stayed the same on the new $100 bill. There’s something about his slight, tight frown, the paternal hint of disappointment in his eyes and those pursed, sealed lips that seem to say, “I don’t approve of what you’re doing, but I can’t stop you from rolling this banknote into a straw and ripping a fat rail of white lightning in the Buffalo Wild Wings handicapped bathroom stall, you goddamn beautiful disaster.”

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